Courtney's Corner

I want to be loved.  I want to be needed. I want to be taken seriously and valued. I don't feel like I'm valued in the work place or that my colleagues take me seriously. I feel like they gloss over me and I feel like they stab me in the back. I am not someone who needs public praise but I am someone when I have a great idea or do 99% of the work on a project, I expect to be recognized. I don't like when other people take credit for what I've done. I don't like when other people take my ideas for their own. And I don't like when I am not included in projects that I've helped build off the ground.  I want to be listened to. I want to feel irreplaceable to someone - like life won't be complete without me.  I want someone to choose me. I want someone to wake up everyday of their life and be like wow, I'm really lucky to have this person in my life.  I am sick of being undervalued and not being taken seriously. I'm sick of not being valued for what I...

Yesterday I went in to get tested for COVID, for what feels like the 100th time. I noticed my sense of smell was almost completely gone. So I texted my son's father to make sure he was on board with keeping our son until I got my test results back and this is the text exchange... Him: Yes, when are you getting them back Me: I'm hoping tomorrow or Tuesday but as always, they don't have exact dates for results. Me: I'd like to give James a call tonight before bed. Him: We took him to a pumpkin farm today and he slept on the way home and is sleeping now. If he wakes up, I will FaceTime you.  Me: Yeah it can be later tonight before bed, that's fine. Thanks! This may seem like a harmless conversation and most people may not see anything wrong with this conversation but after being in an abusive and manipulative relationship with this man for 7.5 years - I will tell you this not just a simple text exchange. This is him trying to control me, the situation and control if or...